A student’s time table

[parakhi]

http://www.parakhi.com/blogs/2012/02/03/a-students-time-table

February 3, 2012 By: sewa

Ideal Exam Time routine:

1. Wake up, freshen up, have tea
2. Study
3. Have lunch
4. Study
5. Study study until you fall asleep

Reality:

1. Wake up, freshen up, have tea
2. Papers due, sit down to write paper.
3. Look up random words in google
4. Go to wiki and spend 3 hrs
5. Suddenly remember paper, bang head with it, and look up “grad school jokes” online
6. Start reading phdcomics
refresh facebook
7. At the 997th page, suddenly realize that there’s a paper, come back and write 3 words
8. Decide to make lunch
9. Been months since you’ve had a decent meal, why not make a 3 course thing 😀
10. Come back and research: read 3 more lines
refresh facebook
11. Dessert missing from meal: go and cut water melons
12. Too much water melon, look for water melon recipes online
refresh facebook
13. Find that there are none, look for apple recipes, and strawberry recipes, and grape recipes, and mango recipes (there are no mangoes in the winter, but who cares?
refresh facebook
14. Call up an old friend you haven’t talked since school, and discuss latest politics
15. Suddenly have a heart to heart with cousin about why things didn’t work out with said friend
16. Do the same with cousin’s list of girlfriends
17. Oh, btw, your cheating ex bf best friend has a new gf, look at all her 99 albums
18. Similarly facebook stalk his ex gf and her 137 albums
19. Similarly facebook stalk his first crush, and all crushes in between
refresh facebook
20. Too bored of worldly troubles, get up and dance to the latest bollywood number
21. Sooooooo hungry, have midnight snack
22. Stare into space while doing that
23. Register for new class for the next 3 semesters, discuss merits and demerits with all classmates
refresh facebook
24. See that its 2 am, hair stands on end, go and poke sleeping roommate with it
25. Too bored of worldly troubles, get up and dance to the latest bollywood number
26. Why not watch all the songs from this movie?
27. Why not watch all the songs of this actor?
Refresh facebook
28. See that cousin has become fan of Amir Khan
29. Decide that it is the best time to become fan of Shahrukh Khan and view all his 999999999 fan pics
30. Sooooooo hungry, have midnight snack
31. Stare into space while doing that
32. Register for new class for the next 3 semesters, discuss merits and demerits with all classmates

P.S.
32. Write random articles that could be written a month later, or any time
33. Make irritating corrections to it

Correction 1:
19. Go to bathroom and look at yourself for 15 minutes
20. Do your eyebrows
21. Again go to bathroom and do your eyebrows until it is in a straight line
22. 5 minutes later, go to bathroom and do eyebrows until it is only one millimeter in width
23. Stand back and admire your handiwork for 15 minutes

Correction 2:
refresh facebook
realize that roommate has commented on her school friends album
watch whole album
refresh facebook
repeat process with different name until you have watched albums of all the people in Nepal,
refresh facebook
repeat process until you have done half of Europe and America

In the end:
34. Repeat steps 1 to 33, until its 1 hr before paper due
35. Hurriedly write whatever is on mind, don’t notice that date is from last year
36. Get catastrophic results…

Sewa recently won the “nerdiest” competition by claiming that her favorite Saturday night hobby is reading, and she would like to know what pure math is all about. Though she is working at becoming the jack of all nerdiness, she mainly likes to write about the issues of Nepali students abroad, the issues of Nepali women everywhere, and frequently goes off on tangents of myths and fables.

http://www.parakhi.com/blogs/2012/02/03/a-students-time-table

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